Unfiltered: Swiping Left on Digital Perfection

I have never been on a dating site. I am so glad I met my wife when it was the old fashioned 'talk to someone in a bar' scene. The swipe-scene just doesn't seem like something I could see myself doing (but I do acknowledge that it is becoming increasingly successful for this digital dating malarkey.)

Talking about being genuine online isn't about setting the scene with grandiose statements or waxing lyrical about digital paradigms. It's about the nitty-gritty of showing up as ourselves, minus the filters and the fanfare.

The digital world is crammed full of people trying to outdo each other with the perfect snapshot of their lives. But let's be honest, who actually lives like that? It's like we're all competing in an unspoken contest that nobody really signed up for. And for what? A couple of likes and maybe a follow? I spoke with groups of students recently about their digital footprint and all of them had 'friends' they didn't know for the sake of a number in the follower stat.

What if, instead of curating our feeds to look like magazine spreads, we just... didn't? Imagine slapping up a post that's just—gasp—normal. Not every breakfast is a gourmet feast; sometimes, it's just cereal out of the box. And that's totally fine. Actually, it's more than fine—it's real. And being real is where it's at.

Now, I'm not saying throw caution to the wind and post every mundane detail of your day. Please don't. But it's about letting the polished facade crack a bit to reveal the genuine person behind it. That's where real connections happen. It's about dialogue, not monologues. About exchanging ideas, sharing laughs, and sometimes, the not-so-great bits, too. Even ChatGPT is called Chat...GPT.

In the push for authenticity online, it's not just about us as individuals; it's about setting a new standard for digital interaction. One where we celebrate the unfiltered moments just as much as the highlight reels. Because, let's face it, life's a mix of both, and our digital selves should reflect that.

So, here's my challenge to you (and to myself, because we're all in this together): next time you're about to post something, ask yourself if it's the real deal. Are you sharing because it's something you genuinely want to put out there, or are you just chasing the algorithm gods? Let's make our digital spaces a bit more like our real lives—imperfect, but infinitely more interesting.

And yeah, maybe it sounds a bit pie-in-the-sky, but imagine the kind of community we could build if everyone dialled back the perfection a notch. A community where being yourself isn't just accepted; it's celebrated. Now that's a digital world I want to be part of.

Let's be a little less polished and a lot more personal. After all, the worst that can happen is we end up being a bit more connected. And in a world that's increasingly online, that's not such a bad thing, is it?

So, in a practical sense, I think we could all do with a bit of an unfiltered, unfettered, unfragranced look on life now and again.

Do Share Your Truth. Post content that reflects your real experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Authenticity resonates, so whether it’s a success story or a lesson learned the hard way, if it’s genuine, it’s worth sharing.

Do Engage Sincerely. Respond to comments, messages, and other posts in a way that shows you're genuinely interested in the conversation. Authentic engagement builds stronger, more meaningful connections.

Do Initiate Real Talk. Find your tribe and talk through what needs talking through. Ask the tough questions, check in often and push towards building friendships that give one about each other.

Don't Chase Perfection. Avoid the trap of only sharing content that depicts an idealised version of your life. Life is beautifully imperfect, and your online self should reflect that reality.

Don't Compare Your Behind-the-Scenes to Someone Else’s Highlight Reel. Remember, most people only post their best moments online. Comparing your everyday life to these snapshots can skew your perception of authenticity.

Don't Ignore the Impact of Your Words. Online interactions can sometimes feel detached from real-world consequences. Always consider the potential impact of your posts and comments on others. Strive for honesty but also for kindness and empathy.

I hope this doesn't sound too preachy; I am learning it all myself too. Even writing this newsletter, I find myself wriggling into a 'how can I say this in the cleverest way' or 'what will make me sound the wisest'. It's sad but it's a symptom of the Kool Aid we've been drinking. I fancy a different beverage...

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