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"Sorry, I'm just so busy." How many times have you uttered this phrase this week? This month? This year? It's become our go-to explanation, our default state of being. We wear our busyness like a badge of honour, a testament to our importance and indispensability. I think that this cult of busyness is not just exhausting us, but potentially holding us back. It’s a mindset shift that is so tough to navigate. I’m guilty as charged but I’ve been working on a bit of a changing perspective that I’d love to outline in this piece.
Let's face it, we're addicted to being busy. It's as British as complaining about the weather or queuing for a checkout at M&S. We fill our calendars to the brim, juggle multiple WhatsApp groups, and pride ourselves on our ability to multitask (even though research consistently shows that multitasking is about as effective as trying to swim through treacle). We've turned busyness into a competitive sport, and we're all vying for gold.
But being busy doesn't necessarily mean being productive, fulfilled, or even successful. It's often just motion masquerading as progress. Think about it - when was the last time you felt truly satisfied after a "busy" day? Chances are, you were more likely to feel drained, scattered, and vaguely discontent.
The problem isn't just personal; it's societal. Our culture champions the hustle, the grind, the 24/7 availability. We've created a world where being 'too busy' for lunch is seen as a sign of dedication rather than poor time management. It's as if we're all trapped on a giant hamster wheel, running faster and faster but never really getting anywhere.
This obsession with busyness has seeped into every aspect of our lives. In the workplace, it's not uncommon to see people staying late at the office, not because they have pressing work to do, but because they want to be seen as hardworking. In our personal lives, we pack our weekends with activities and social engagements, leaving no time for rest or reflection. Even our leisure time has become a source of stress as we try to optimise our 'down time' with self-improvement activities or side hustles.
But what's driving this manic merry-go-round? Part of it is undoubtedly economic. In an increasingly precarious job market, many of us feel the need to constantly prove our worth. There's also the fear of missing out (FOMO), amplified by social media's constant parade of other people's seemingly exciting and productive lives. And let's not forget the dopamine hit we get from ticking items off our to-do list, even if those items aren't particularly meaningful or important.
Research seems to suggest that merely listing tasks can create a false sense of progress, potentially reducing motivation to actually complete the work. These findings suggest that while to-do lists might provide a temporary feeling of control, they often fail to enhance productivity and may even hinder effective time management.
However, I'd argue that there's something deeper at play here beyond these reasons. Busyness has become a way of avoiding uncomfortable truths or difficult emotions. When we're constantly in motion, we don't have to confront our dissatisfaction with our jobs, our relationships, or ourselves. We don't have to grapple with the big questions about purpose and meaning. Busyness becomes a form of existential avoidance.
The irony is that in our rush to do everything, we often end up doing nothing particularly well. We skim the surface of experiences without ever diving deep. We maintain a wide network of acquaintances but struggle to nurture deep friendships. We consume vast amounts of information but rarely take the time to develop true wisdom.
So, what's the alternative? It's not about doing nothing - that's neither realistic nor desirable for most of us. Instead, it's about shifting our focus from being busy to being full. Full of purpose, full of meaningful work, full of genuine connections and experiences. It's about quality over quantity, depth over breadth.
This shift isn't easy. It requires us to challenge deeply ingrained habits and cultural norms. It means learning to say no, to prioritise ruthlessly, and to be comfortable with periods of stillness and reflection. But the potential rewards - greater productivity, enhanced wellbeing, and a richer, more satisfying life - are surely worth the effort.
In the following sections, we'll look (I almost wrote delve because I’m so used to seeing it in awful AI prose!) deeper into the psychology behind our busyness addiction, explore philosophical perspectives on time and productivity, and look at practical strategies for moving from frazzled to fulfilled. It's time to get off the hamster wheel and start living a life that's full, not just busy.
Badges of Honour or Shackles of Shame?
I’m not sure when 'How are you?' became synonymous with 'What are you up to?' Our knee-jerk response to enquiries about our wellbeing often revolves around our level of activity, rather than our actual state of mind or emotions. This subtle shift in social discourse reveals a deeper psychological underpinning to our relationship with busyness.
At the heart of this phenomenon lies the concept of self-worth. In his seminal work, The Psychology of Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Branden argued that self-esteem is built on a sense of personal efficacy and worth. We have a productivity-obsessed culture (and I’m ok with productivity over laziness!), but we've conflated this sense of efficacy with constant activity. This seems to have created a society where busyness has become a misguided attempt at bolstering our self-esteem.
This psychological drive isn't just about how we see ourselves; it's equally about how we believe others perceive us. Robert Cialdini's work on social proof (again!) suggests that we look to others to determine appropriate behaviour. In professional settings, this often translates to mirroring the perceived busyness of our colleagues, creating a self-perpetuating cycle of overwork.
The impact of our busyness culture extends far beyond individual self-esteem. It permeates our social interactions, our work environments, and even our leisure time. Dr. Silvia Bellezza's research at Columbia Business School has shed light on how busyness has become a status symbol. In a series of studies published in the Journal of Consumer Research, Bellezza and her colleagues found that Americans increasingly perceive a busy and overworked person as having high status. This marks a significant shift from the traditional view of leisure as a status symbol. It’s crazy: how busy we are when we’re relaxing is now part of our personal performance table!
This shift has profound implications for how we behave and make decisions. We might find ourselves taking on unnecessary tasks, staying late at the office even when our work is done, or filling our weekends with activities we don't truly enjoy, all in the name of appearing busy and, by extension, important.
However, this constant state of busyness comes at a cost. Psychologists like Dr. Christina Maslach have long studied the effects of burnout, a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. Maslach's research suggests that our glorification of busyness is contributing to a burnout epidemic, with serious consequences for both individual wellbeing and organisational productivity. I have been there: 100-hour weeks, just popping into my office whilst the kids are swimming, doing a 415 get-up to beat the crowd in school (yes that’s in the morning).
Our obsession with busyness can be seen as a form of avoidance behaviour. In his book The Happiness Trap, psychologist Russ Harris discusses how we often use busyness as a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions or challenging personal issues. By keeping ourselves constantly occupied, we create a buffer against anxiety, self-doubt, or dissatisfaction with our current circumstances.
This avoidance can become a self-defeating cycle. The more we use busyness to distract ourselves from our problems, the less time and mental energy we have to address these issues constructively. It's akin to continually applying a plaster to a wound that needs stitches - it might provide temporary relief, but it doesn't solve the underlying problem.
The rise of social media and digital technology has added another layer of complexity to our relationship with busyness. Platforms like LinkedIn and Instagram have turned busyness into a performative act. We carefully curate our online personas to project an image of constant productivity and success. This digital peacocking not only reinforces our own beliefs about the value of busyness but also contributes to a collective illusion that everyone else is more productive than we are.
Dr. Sherry Turkle, in her book Alone Together, argues that our constant connectivity and the pressure to always be 'on' is eroding our capacity for solitude and self-reflection. We've become so accustomed to external stimulation and activity that we struggle to sit with our own thoughts or engage in deep, focused work.
However, it's crucial to recognise that this psychological attachment to busyness isn't innate - it's learned behaviour, shaped by cultural and social forces. And what is learned can be unlearned. By understanding the psychological drivers behind our busyness addiction, we can begin to challenge these patterns and develop healthier relationships with work, leisure, and personal time.
Time Well Spent
While psychologists grapple with the why of our busyness, philosophers have long pondered the what and how of time itself. From ancient Greek thinkers to modern-day academics, the nature of time and how we should best use it has been a subject of deep contemplation.
Seneca, the OG Roman Stoic philosopher, wrote in his incredible, must-read little treatise On the Shortness of Life that "It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it." This sentiment, penned nearly two millennia ago, feels strikingly relevant in our age of constant distraction. Seneca argued that many people fritter away their time on meaningless pursuits, only to find themselves at the end of their lives feeling as though they've barely lived.
This concept of 'time poverty' – the feeling that we never have enough time – is a modern phenomenon that would have fascinated ancient philosophers. Aristotle, for instance, differentiated between two types of time: chronos (chronological time) and kairos (the right or opportune moment). In our busy lives, we often fixate on chronos, watching the clock and racing against deadlines, while neglecting kairos – those meaningful moments that give life its richness.
The 20th-century philosopher Martin Heidegger took a different approach, arguing that our experience of time is fundamentally linked to our awareness of our own mortality. In his magnum opus Being and Time, Heidegger posits that it's our finite nature that gives meaning to our existence. From this perspective, our modern obsession with busyness could be seen as a desperate attempt to outrun our own mortality, to cram as much as possible into our limited time.
But what if we've got it all wrong? The French philosopher Albert Camus, in his essay The Myth of Sisyphus, argues that the key to a meaningful life lies not in doing more, but in fully embracing our existence, absurd as it may sometimes seem. Camus uses the Greek myth of Sisyphus, condemned to eternally roll a boulder up a hill, as a metaphor for the human condition. He concludes, somewhat paradoxically, that "The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy." I talked about Sisyphus in FRiDEAS #20.
In more recent times, philosophers have grappled with how technology is reshaping our relationship with time. The South Korean-born German philosopher Byung-Chul Han, in his book The Scent of Time, argues that our sense of time has become fragmented in the digital age. We no longer experience the 'scent' of time – its continuity and depth – but instead are caught in a series of disconnected present moments, constantly reacting to the next notification or demand for our attention.
This fragmentation of time has profound implications for how we work, relax, and relate to others. The philosopher Hartmut Rosa, in his theory of 'social acceleration', suggests that the pace of social change is constantly increasing, leading to a sense of constant pressure to keep up. This acceleration, Rosa argues, is eroding our ability to form stable identities and meaningful relationships.
So how do we reconcile these philosophical insights with our daily lives? Perhaps the answer lies in the concept of 'temporal autonomy' – the ability to control and shape our experience of time. The philosopher André Gorz argued that true freedom comes not from having more possessions or even more free time, but from having control over how we use our time.
This brings us back to the idea of being 'full' rather than 'busy'. To be full, in this sense, is to engage deeply with life, to savour our experiences rather than rushing through them. It's about quality over quantity, depth over breadth. I’ll say it again.
The challenge, then, is to cultivate a philosophical mindset that allows us to step back from the frenetic pace of modern life and ask ourselves: What truly matters? How can we use our finite time in a way that aligns with our values and brings genuine fulfilment?
Beyond the Buzzwords
In the corporate world, 'busy' has long been conflated with 'productive'. But as more UK businesses wake up to the fallacy of this equation, we're seeing a shift in how productivity and efficiency are viewed and measured.
Gad Saad in one of the most recent Diary of a CEO podcasts talks about how the two key factors in deterring life happiness and success are your choice of life partner and your profession. And not just any profession either; the overwhelming data suggests that creatively free jobs increase happiness scores. His example is about writing books and the creative freedom that allows to bring something into being.
Atom Bank, a Durham-based digital bank, became one of the first UK companies to switch to a four-day work week without reducing pay in November 2021. The bank moved the majority of its 430 staff to a 34-hour week, working Monday to Thursday with the same salary.
According to CEO Mark Mullen, the move has been a success. In June 2023, Atom Bank reported that the four-day week had boosted productivity and improved employee well-being. The bank saw an unprecedented increase in job applications and a significant drop in staff sickness rates.
But it's not just about working fewer hours. It's about working smarter. Ocado, the online supermarket, has been at the forefront of using AI and robotics to streamline operations. Their approach isn't about replacing human workers, but about freeing them from repetitive tasks to focus on more valuable, creative work.
The transition from 'busy' to 'productive' isn't always smooth sailing though. When Marks & Spencer attempted to overhaul its corporate culture in 2016, aiming to cut unnecessary meetings and emails, they faced significant resistance. Old habits, it turns out, die hard.
This resistance points to a deeper issue: our addiction to busyness is often rooted in fear. Fear of being seen as dispensable, fear of missing out, fear of the void that might open up if we're not constantly occupied.
So how can businesses break this cycle? Some are turning to novel approaches. Brewdog, the Scottish craft beer company, introduced 'Pawternity Leave' - a week of paid leave for employees who adopt a dog. While it might sound gimmicky, it's part of a broader strategy to prioritise employee wellbeing and work-life integration.
Other companies are tackling the issue through technology. The UK-based company RescueTime offers software that tracks how employees spend their time on digital devices, providing insights that can help individuals and teams work more efficiently.
But technology isn't always the answer. Sometimes, the most effective solutions are decidedly low-tech. The 'silent meeting' technique, popularised by Square and adopted by several UK startups, involves participants reading a memo together at the start of a meeting, rather than listening to a presenter. This approach ensures everyone is on the same page (literally) and can lead to more focused, productive discussions.
Ultimately, the most successful approaches combine structural changes with a shift in corporate culture. It’s almost like we need to move from a culture of 'busy' to a culture of 'purpose'.
This shift requires leadership from the top. When executives model balanced working practices - leaving on time, taking proper lunch breaks, not sending emails at all hours (unless that’s their optimal time but allowing for others’ working patterns), attending kids’ sports’ days - it sends a powerful message throughout the organisation.
It’s crucial to remember that productivity isn't about doing more things, but about doing the right things. In the words of management guru Peter Drucker, "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all."
The challenge for businesses, then, is not just to streamline operations or adopt new technologies, but to fundamentally rethink what it means to be productive. It's about creating environments where employees can do their best work, not just their most work.
Rewriting the Script
The words we use shape our reality. When it comes to how we talk about our time and commitments, our language often betrays an unhealthy relationship with busyness. It's time we examined this lexicon and considered how we might reframe our narrative.
Think about how often we say "I don't have time" when what we really mean is "That's not a priority for me right now." This subtle shift in phrasing, advocated by time management expert Laura Vanderkam, puts the power back in our hands. It reminds us that we're making choices about how we spend our hours, rather than being at the mercy of some external force called 'busy'.
Similarly, the ubiquitous "I'm busy" as a response to "How are you?" has become almost reflexive. But what if we paused before answering? We might find that we're not actually busy, but engaged, focused, or even pleasantly occupied. These alternatives not only provide a more accurate description of our state but also shift the emotional tone of the conversation.
The corporate world is particularly guilty of using language that glorifies overwork. Phrases like "110% effort," "above and beyond," and "24/7 availability" have become so commonplace that we barely question their implications. Yet these expressions normalise an unhealthy and often unproductive approach to work.
Dr. Brené Brown, who I must reference pretty much every day and in almost every FRiDEAS edition because of her super-influential work on vulnerability and shame, argues that this language of scarcity – never enough time, never enough rest – is deeply damaging to our wellbeing. In her book Daring Greatly, she writes,
"One of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy. I often say that when they start having twelve-step meetings for busy-aholics, they’ll need to rent out football stadiums. We are a culture of people who’ve bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up with us."
Brene Brown
By constantly reinforcing these messages, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy of time poverty. Waking up not having had enough sleep to go into days where we don’t have enough time to work at jobs where we don’t earn enough money to live a life where we don’t have enough stuff - it's exhausting.
But it's not just about avoiding negative language; it's also about actively embracing more positive and empowering ways of talking about our time. Instead of saying we're "killing time," why not talk about "investing time" or "spending time wisely"? Rather than "fitting something in," we could be "making space" for what matters.
This linguistic shift extends to how we talk about work-life balance. The very phrase "work-life balance" implies a zero-sum game, where more of one necessarily means less of the other. I have mentioned many times before that I don’t talk about work-life balance anymore; instead adopting the term "work-life integration," acknowledging that our professional and personal lives are increasingly intertwined, especially in the age of remote work.
By changing our language, we can start to change our mindset. And from there, we can begin to change our behaviours and ultimately, our experience of time itself.
From Frazzled to Fulfilled: Practical steps towards a richer, less manic existence
So, how do we translate these insights into tangible changes in our daily lives? How can we shift from a state of constant busyness to one of genuine fulfilment? Here are some practical strategies to consider. Full transparency here: I am nowhere near where I want to be with it all but I am for damn sure significantly better than I have been.
1. Audit your time: For a week, track how you actually spend your time. You might be surprised at where your hours are really going. This isn't about judgement, but awareness. Understanding your current patterns is the first step to changing them. I did it recently and found I spent more than 12 hours per week scrolling socials. Being aware of it forced me to change my habits as I knew that wasn’t healthy.
2. Identify your priorities: What truly matters to you? What activities align with your values and long-term goals? Once you've clarified these, it becomes easier to say no to the things that don't serve you. Let your yes be yes and your no be no and all that…
3. Practise single-tasking: Despite the myth of multitasking, our brains work best when focused on one thing at a time. Try dedicating uninterrupted blocks of time to important tasks, free from the temptation of email or social media. Focus time on phones or Pomodoro techniques are definitely worth exploring if you’re a wanderer like me!
4. Schedule downtime: Rest isn't a reward for productivity; it's a necessary component of it. Make sure your calendar includes time for relaxation, hobbies, and connecting with loved ones. What fills your cup? Make sure it’s scheduled. I love playing squash - I need to make it more of a habit. In fact, I put this laptop down a minute whilst I messaged my mate, Jon to get booked in!
5. Embrace 'good enough': Perfectionism is often the enemy of productivity. Learning to recognise when something is good enough can free up time and mental energy for other pursuits. I find this hard as I was drilled with the excellence rhetoric growing up and was told “it’ll do will never do”. I am relearning this one, slowly.
6. Create boundaries: Our world is always-on so it's crucial to set limits. This might mean turning off work notifications after a certain hour or learning to say no to non-essential commitments. Margin may be a choice now or a compulsion later. Without being dramatic, you can either pause now or in the hospital bed.
7. Practise mindfulness: Techniques like meditation can help us become more aware of how we're spending our moments, allowing us to make more conscious choices about our time. I often do this in cold water and with some acoustic music on. I haven’t mastered the yoga, breathwork, chakras stuff yet and might never but being present and mindful is something I can do.
8. Reassess regularly: Our priorities and circumstances change. What worked for you last year might not be suitable now. Regular reflection can help ensure your approach to time management remains aligned with your current needs and goals. I am in a season of getting up early with the girls for swimming and I am managing three businesses with some volunteering on top. That won’t be forever - and that’s cool.
9. Cultivate deep work: Carve out time for focused, uninterrupted work on your most important projects. This might mean blocking out several hours in your calendar or finding a quiet space away from distractions. Cal Newport’s book of this same name is on the list of reads in the office. I need to find the time not just to read it but read it so I can apply it.
10. Reframe your language: As discussed earlier, the way we talk about time influences how we experience it. Try replacing phrases like "I don't have time" with "It's not a priority right now." Oh, and “no sorry” is an answer not a challenge.
Remember, the goal isn't to fill every moment with activity, but to ensure that the way you spend your time aligns with what truly matters to you. It's about moving from a state of frantic busyness to one of purposeful engagement. Implementing these strategies won't happen overnight and it certainly isn’t for me. It's a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to experiment. What works for one person may not work for another, so don't be afraid to adapt these suggestions to fit your unique circumstances and preferences.
Embracing the Art of Being Full
It's clear that our relationship with time and busyness is complex, deeply rooted in psychological, cultural, and even philosophical factors. The shift from 'busy' to 'full' isn't just a matter of semantics – it represents a fundamental change in how we approach our lives and work.
Being full, rather than busy, means engaging deeply with what truly matters to us. It's about quality over quantity, depth over breadth. It's recognising that our worth isn't determined by the number of tasks we complete or the hours we work, but by the meaning and value we bring to our activities and relationships. This shift requires conscious effort and ongoing reflection. It means challenging ingrained habits and resisting societal pressures that equate busyness with importance or productivity. It involves learning to say no, setting boundaries, and prioritising what truly aligns with our values and goals.
But the potential rewards are significant. By moving away from the cult of busyness, we open ourselves up to a richer, more fulfilling existence. We create space for creativity, for deep thinking, for meaningful connections. We reduce stress and burnout, potentially improving both our mental and physical health. We are programmed to valorise busyness above all else, so choosing to be full rather than busy can feel like a radical act. But it's a choice that has the potential to transform not just our individual lives, but our workplaces, our communities, and perhaps even our society as a whole.
So the next time someone asks you how you are, resist the urge to default to "busy". Instead, take a moment to reflect on how you're really spending your time and energy. Are you just busy, or are you full? And if you're not satisfied with the answer, remember: it's within your power to change it. By taking these steps, we can begin to shift from a life that's merely busy to one that's genuinely full - full of purpose, meaning, and satisfaction.
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